Therapy for the things that are hard to say.
London and online across the UK.
Therapy for the things that feel hard to say
THERAPY FOR RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUAL DIFFICULTIES
Compulsive sexual behaviour & pornography use
When sex or pornography feels out of your control
If you've searched "porn addiction" or "sex addiction" to find someone like me, you're in the right place — and the first thing I want to say is that you're not broken, and you're not beyond help.
Maybe you've promised yourself you'd stop, and then didn't. Maybe the amount of time, or the kind of material, or the risks you've taken have started to frighten you. Maybe no one in your life has any idea, and the gap between the person they think you are and what you do in private has become its own kind of loneliness.
Here's how I understand this, and it may be different from what you've read elsewhere. Compulsive sexual behaviour is now a recognised condition — and interestingly, the international diagnostic framework (ICD-11) classes it as an impulse-control problem rather than an "addiction." Whatever we call it, the part that matters is how it's approached. Too often these difficulties get wrapped in shame — the idea that you're powerless, diseased, or fundamentally broken. In my experience, clinical and research both, shame is not the cure. Shame is the fuel. The worse you feel about yourself, the more the behaviour tends to serve as escape, and the tighter the loop becomes.
So the work I offer is different. It's compassion-focused: we get curious about what the behaviour is doing for you — what it soothes, escapes, or regulates — and build other ways of meeting those needs, while steadily loosening shame's grip. That's not going soft on the problem. Reducing self-attack is, for most people, the thing that finally makes change possible.
compulsive sexual behaviour
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Compulsive pornography use, including escalation to material that distresses you
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Sexual behaviour that feels out of control — frequency, risk-taking, or a pattern you can't seem to interrupt
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The double life, and the exhaustion and loneliness of keeping it hidden
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Compulsive sexual behaviour alongside chemsex — an area of my published clinical research
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The shame, self-disgust and secrecy underneath all of the above
How I understand compulsive sexual behaviour
Why me for this: I'm a clinical psychologist (not a rehab programme or a 12-step sponsor), my doctoral research was on sexual shame and self-criticism, and compulsive sexual behaviour has become one of the areas people most often come to me for directly. You will not be judged here — I promise you that you would not be the first, the worst, or a surprise.
Whatever you searched to get here, you've already done the hardest part.
Arrange a free consultation — fifteen minutes, confidential, and you can decide afterwards without explaining yourself.
Confidential within the standard limits I'll always explain up front. All genders, orientations and relationship structures welcome. If your main worry is the effect on your relationship, see also Relationships & intimacy. This is part of my wider work with addiction and compulsive behaviour.
practicalities
Sessions online across the UK or in person in London. We begin with a free consultation call. LGBTQIA+ affirming. Anti-racist and culturally humble reflective practice. A safe place to land, and talk openly about difference.